How I Healed Myself from My Chronic Illness
How I Healed Myself from My Chronic Illness
After 15 years struggling with a debilitating chronic illness, I was determined to be well. In 2010 I walked into a new doctor’s office at Danbury Hospital on the second floor. I sat in a muted chair in the waiting room of my infectious disease specialist’s office. I leafed through my pages of typed notes of my health history, hoping and praying that this new doctor would believe that I was ill and order further testing.
I wondered if I still had a parasite, “the controversial parasite” my doctor had named it in 1995. Such a funny way to describe a parasite but my health was no joke. I was still unable to gain weight no matter what I ate. I was incredibly thin. Pounds and pounds of weight had slipped off of me over the years without dieting. I yearned to be able to gain weight so that perhaps I could gain energy and strength again.
Would my new doctor test to see if I still had a parasite? Would he uncover the real reason why I had suffered all of these years? Would my life suddenly take a turn for the better?
The answer was a big resounding YES, YES, YES!
For fifteen years I had become my own health advocate because no one had believed that I was really sick, not any of my doctors or my friends, not even my own mother. Everyone thought I was fine because I looked fine. Only healers who stared deeply into my eyes could see the pain that my soul was in and the inner battles I fought daily.
After looking through the pages of my typed and stapled notes and Xeroxes of all of my blood results and other various tests, this thoughtful Greek doctor turned to me and said the words I had been longing to hear, words that were music to my heart.
“I am going to order further testing,” he said. “I am amazed by your detailed notes and I believe you. I believe your illness is physical and not in your head.”
A week later I returned to his office to discuss my blood results. My test results revealed that I had very high levels of heavy metals in my blood: both mercury and lead. The results were off the charts – the highest my doctor had ever seen. He shook his head in disbelief that this had gone on for so long and that he was able to sense it and discover it by taking a few minutes to listen to me. He admitted that people with results as high as mine were normally paralyzed or suffered brain damage. He recommended that I find a specialist ASAP to begin weekly intravenous chelation therapy. Treatment he admitted would need to be performed weekly in a specialized clinic in New York City and would take at least a full year, if not longer, given my high levels. He told me that he would report my lab results of my heavy metal exposure to the State of Connecticut – I had somehow been exposed to a serious environmental hazard.
An environmental hazard? Heavy metals? Chelation therapy? How did this happen to me?
So many questions circled in my mind but the deepest swirling thought was my gratitude and sense of relief that someone had finally taken the time to listen to me, believed me, and I had finally earned a proper diagnosis. I was no longer seen as the depressed hypochondriac. I was seen in amazement and awe for living through this torture for way too long with so little support with a debilitating, invisible illness that should have crushed me but somehow I survived.
For months and even years prior, I layed in my bed under the covers in fetal position filled with unbearable, chronic pain. I told myself that I had a higher purpose than being sick for the rest of my life. I told myself that I was not my illness: I was my spirit and that my spirit was invincible. I told myself that being sick for so long may have made me depressed but it was not the cause of my illness as many had assumed. I fought with my ego. I fought with my illness every night, even crying tears at times and crying myself to sleep, but I would not give in to my dark thoughts.
My illness was separate from me and it was winning, but I would not give up.
I believe that is what saved me from becoming sicker. I was able to distance myself from my illness. I believed I was only sick until I found the reason. There was a reason that caused my illness. I had been a healthy person all of my life.
Finally, when I was given a diagnosis, I did what I had done for the fifteen years I had been sick, I researched it.
Heavy metals do not naturally occur in the body nor do they naturally exit the body either. They must be removed though a process called chelation therapy which extracts the metals and all of your minerals out of your body. Even though chelation therapy was the only alternative the doctors gave me, I learned that chelation therapy was costly, painful, and had many unfortunate side effects. It is one of the few substances that can pass between the blood brain barrier thus it can have disastrous consequences, even deadly ones. I was not willing to risk my life to be well, so I decided that I would again put my faith in myself, and heal myself.
I declared that I would be well in ONE month. I researched and discovered supplements and food that were natural chelating agents without any side effects. Each day I drank chlorella in my green smoothie, ate delicious gluten-free pasta or vegetables with cilantro pesto, and meditated.
I had never meditated before, but I quickly picked it up. Each day, I meditated for twenty minutes, twice a day, and told myself that I would be well in one month.
Every four to five days my blood was tested and the levels got lower and lower until at the end of the month my levels had reached zero.
It was a MIRACLE! I was well again!
My mentor, Gabby Bernstein, says that miracles happen every day. She believes a miracle is any time you are able to change your mindset. Wow, doesn’t that give you goose pimples?
It was a miracle that I was able to change my mindset to believe that I could be well in one month.
It was a miracle that I was able to envision myself well after being so sick for fifteen years.
Today I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been in my life. For five years after my health was regained I lived in California to pursue my acting and comedy career and recently, I returned to my hometown in Ridgefield, CT.
I am so grateful to have my life back again! I am so grateful to be a healer. It is a miracle!
Share your story. Comment below. What would you like to heal? What miracles have you experienced in your life? How have you healed yourself?