Helping Women Without Diagnoses To Get The Help They Need

It’s been about ten years since I overcame my debilitating, chronic illness. My illness was misdiagnosed for fifteen, long years. During the prime of my life, my life stalled. Some of the best doctors in Connecticut and New York City screened me, but only one doctor was able to properly diagnose me. Sadly, this happens more often than people realize.

Before I became sick, I trusted my doctors completely. But to be honest, I rarely got sick in school or college, so doctors only saw me for my annual physical. However, my life completely changed when I chose to do my Junior Year Abroad in London, England and developed a fever, diagnosed as being from the flu, and did not regain my health until fifteen years later.

As a teenager, I imagined my name in lights, being a star performing on stages on Broadway in New York City. I never imagined I would be in my twenties, bed-ridden living with the parents in Connecticut, giving up my acting career, and instead fighting daily for my health.

The symptoms were bad: the agonizing pain, recurring fevers, migraines, upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea and constipation, sensitivities to smells, food allergies, hives, night sweats, chronic fatigue, brain fog, and insomnia.

But the surprising thing was that all of my tests returned showing that I was fine and that it was all in my head.

My doctors didn’t believe me and tried to put me on antidepressants.

“The tests do not show any irregularities. Good news is that you are fine physically; the bad news is you are depressed. I will give you a prescription for antidepressants,” said my primary care doctor.

“I am not depressed,” I said.

“I know it may not seem that way to you, but your blood shows that everything is normal.”

I refused the medication.

“That’s the only thing I can offer you,” said my doctor.

I knew there was something physically wrong with me. I knew my body and I knew something wasn’t right and I was determined to figure out what was wrong.

It shocked me that my doctors didn’t believe me.

Then it became a dominoes effect, doctor after doctor didn’t believe me, my family didn’t believe me, and my friends didn’t believe me.

It was a big burden not to be able to work because of my illness, but then not to have emotional support or anyone who understood, not even those who knew me since childhood, was shocking. Everyone sided with my doctors who made a quick diagnosis based on what they didn’t see in my blood instead of trusting that I had legitimate health issues.

Doctors labeled me as hypochondriac because I returned repeatedly to ask for further testing.

When I offered that I had done research and that I had the symptoms of heavy metal toxicity, and brought printouts to share, my doctor threw the papers at me.

He said, “I am the doctor, not you.”

Ironically, two years later I was diagnosed by a specialist with having heavy metal toxicity, the highest levels he had ever seen. If the other doctor had listened and offered to order the testing, I could have been healthy two years earlier.

During my illness, my doctors did not have empathy for me. I felt that not only was my illness invisible, but I was invisible too.

When I was sick, I looked around and I met so many women who had been diagnosed with chronic illnesses who were not recovering. They, too, were in the prime of their lives. They were struggling. They were fighting for their health, trying everything to get well, so that they could work again.

I saw that it was truly a pandemic of people with chronic illnesses, especially among young women in their childbearing years.

Doctors didn’t have empathy for them either.

When I conquered my chronic illness in 2010, I set out to use my skills as a healer to help men and women who had tried everything to no avail to finally get some relief. I wanted to help those who had struggled for years without a diagnosis, who had been given a diagnosis and were told there was no cure and whose doctors had given up on them (like mine had).

I wanted to give them hope. I wanted to teach them that they could get better. I wanted to teach them the power of natural healing once a root cause was discovered and show them how quickly they could heal like I had.

As hard it was at the time, now, years later, I felt that my fifteen-year illness had served a purpose. I had empathy for my clients. I had been in their shoes, understood their struggles with their illness, doctors, friends, and family, and I knew how to help them.

In 2019, I was inspired to write a book about childbirth around the world. Being highly intuitive, I knew that I should write this book, even though I didn’t fully understand why.

Over the last few years, I interviewed mothers and childbirth experts around the world and one of the most common themes was postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. Most of the women who shared their postpartum depression stories were never diagnosed by their doctors and never received treatment. Over time, the symptoms improved and the fog lifted. They felt that they had lost precious time with their children: bonding and enjoying their childhood. Time they can’t get back. Months or years gone due to an illness that their friends, family, and doctors didn’t notice. I could relate. I felt like I had lost years of my life and wished doctors had helped me earlier. I wished they had focused on the root cause instead of making assumptions.

Is women’s health not being taken seriously, I wondered?

Since most mothers are not diagnosed, numbers could be higher, but it is estimated that 1 out of 7 mothers develop postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety after giving birth. In Asian countries, it is said to be 60% of mothers and rising and yet, most mothers are struggling and are not receiving the treatment that they need.

Most people think that everyone knows what depression feels like, but postpartum anxiety does not include depression and many mothers feel so overwhelmed with taking care of a newborn that they are not connected to how they are truly feeling. They are in survival mode.

To spread awareness, here are some of the common symptoms of postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety:

excessive and uncontrollable crying,
persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness,
feeling numb, empty or lacking joy,
extremes in mood swings,
irritability and restlessness,
sleeping too much or having insomnia,
feeling anger or rage,
becoming easily frustrated,
feeling anxiety and fear,
stomach pain,
muscle aches,
feeling guilt and shame, (this is often after the fact)
inability to concentrate,

trouble remembering details,
great fatigue,
difficulty making decisions,
doubting ability to care for baby,
being overwhelmed,
inability to bond with the baby,
feeling inadequate,
not wanting to socialize,
not enjoying activities that once brought joy,
and feeling suicidal.

It is clear that more action needs to be taken for women’s health. More research needs to be done. Chronic illness is on the rise, many illnesses are said not to have a cure, and many women are not receiving the proper treatment to help them. Women are struggling. More needs to be done. And of course, women need more empathy for what they are going through which is difficult to understand if it hasn’t been experienced.

For my first book, I am doing research on postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety to understand it better so that we can help more women. For book two, I will explore postpartum psychosis, which is not as common and even fewer women are aware of the symptoms, but it is devastating for women to experience.

If you are a mom, would you be willing to fill out a short survey to provide data for my book to bring greater understanding? Click here. Thank you so much for your help. Please encourage your friends and family who are mothers to fill out this survey too. At this time, there is no deadline.

Thank you so much for helping to improve women’s health! If you would like to share awareness of postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, please share this article. Thank you so much!

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