Advice From My Grandfather

Advice From My Grandfather

When I was growing up, I loved spending time with my grandfather. In the summer and for holidays, I traveled down to Washington, D.C. to spend time with him. We used to sit on his front porch and chat and people watch. He waved and said hello to every black person who walked by.

I accompanied him to the grocery store and the same thing, any time he passed a black man or woman he nodded, waved, and said hello.

I asked him, “Who was that?”

He replied, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know that person?”

“No,” he replied.

I noticed the pattern; every single time, he saw a black person, he said hello.

So one day, I asked him why he said hello to every black person.

He stopped and looked at me like I had three heads and said, “It’s what you do, Khristee.”

I took that statement to heart.

I grew up in a white community where my family was one of a couple of black families in town at the time. Besides my family, I didn’t come across many African Americans, so when I went to college and was exposed to more blacks, I made a point to say hello to everyone who I saw.

That’s how I met and made one of my closest friends today. He was in grad school and I was an undergrad. We didn’t share any classes together, but whenever I saw him I would say hello.

Finally, he said to me, “You sure are friendly! You say hello every time I see you! I’m from the south and people just don’t do that in the North.”

When I moved to NYC, I said hello to every black man and woman I passed. People were really surprised.

When I moved to San Francisco, again, I said hello to everyone who was African American and made many friends who I still have today, simply from talking to people on the bus, the grocery store, and on the street.

There was a homeless man who I always said hello to. One day he came up to me and said that he had been looking for me all over that day because he wanted to see me because it was his birthday. I wished him “Happy Birthday!” and he was so happy! It made his day to see me, to be seen, and to have someone say happy birthday to him with a smile.

That’s what my grandfather taught me. Solidarity. That as African Americans we must unite. We must show each other that we see each other and support one another. No one who is not a minority knows the struggles that we go through, struggles we often don’t express, but all of us experience. He taught me the power of looking someone in the eye to show that you see them.

A picture of my grandfather, Lucien Rich, in front of his home in Washington, D.C.

This is something we must all remember right now, the power of solidarity. We are all together in this struggle. We are one.

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