Authenticity — Blog (The Dancing Hummingbird)

When I was in high school, I attended a summer theater program at Northwestern University called Cherubs. it was specifically for high school students with an interest in theater. And since it was in Evanston, Illinois, students came from all across the U.S. I loved it.

I don’t know how I got onto the subject, but I remember telling a boy that I was black.

He said, “How can you be black? You’re white.”

To which I replied, “Both of my parents are black.“

“But you’re white… Are you an albino?”

At this point in my life, I was not ready for difficult conversations. I was dumbfounded. Did he ask me if I was albino? Obviously, he was not exposed to many blacks and didn’t know we came in all shades.

Creativity, Authenticity, Identity, MindfulnessKhristee RichOctober 9, 2020black lives matter, authentic writing, authenticityComment

Traveling With An Afro

Many years ago, I decided to cut my hair into an Afro. For a long time, I had worn my hair in braids and then I straightened my hair and finally, I decided to go natural and wear an Afro. I absolutely loved it. I felt that it captured my personality. Both of my parents were worried about me sporting an Afro because they had lived in the 60s with the civil rights movement, discrimination, and of course, segregation. They were afraid how their daughter would be treated with an Afro. I reassured them not to worry that I will be treated just fine.

But I definitely had different experiences with an Afro than I did when I was wearing braids or when I had straightened my hair. I remember one time going through airport security. I went through the big scanner where they make you put your hands up above your head and not breathe and then they slide the door really quickly to scan your body. It showed that I was wearing some metal.

Oh shoot! I thought, I forgot to take my rings off.

So, as soon as I got out of the machine, I said, “I’m sorry; I forgot to take my rings off. Here are my rings.”

Creativity, Authenticity, MindfulnessKhristee RichOctober 2, 2020 Comments

Black Is Always More Aggressive

My parents have some dear friends. They invited them over for dinner one evening. Somehow the conversation turned to black dogs. At the time, my family had two black Labrador Retrievers. My parents’ friends were arguing that black dogs were more aggressive than lighter color dogs. It was an odd conversation. My family is black and they were white. My family had had many dogs over the years: 2 golden retrievers and three black labs plus my mother had a dog as a child. This couple had had one dog: a poodle. My father who loves a good conversation tried to steer the conversation to breeds saying that certain breeds were more aggressive than others and that it depends on how the dog was treated (if it was abused) but they stood steadfastly, saying that it was the color that determined the temperament. My father point black asked, “Are you saying a yellow lab is always less aggressive than a black lab?”

Authenticity, MindfulnessKhristee RichSeptember 2, 2020racism in America, racism in The US, prejudice, black lives matterComment

Have You Ever Been Told That Your Hair is A Hazard?

I am continuing to share more of my personal stories so that people can understand systemic racism.

When I worked in a psychiatric hospital in New York I had an Afro at the time. It was a very big Afro. One day the HR person asked me to come to her office and she told me that I had to cut my hair. I had never been asked to cut my hair for a job before.

I was perplexed.

“Why do I have to cut my hair?” I asked.

“Because it’s too long,” she said.

“What does the length of my hair have to do with my position?” I asked.

She said, “Because your hair is so long that patients could grab it and it could potentially endanger you. So it is a hazard.”

I declined to cut my hair. I would not cut my hair for my job.

For me, my hair was my identity and I didn’t see anything wrong with having an Afro and working in a psychiatric hospital.

Authenticity, Identity, MindfulnessKhristee RichAugust 31, 2020racism in America, racism in The USComment

Have You Ever Felt Judgment From A Spiritual Teacher?

Many years ago, when I lived in Connecticut and had a debilitating chronic illness, I attended a gentle yoga class. I enrolled in the class for relaxation and socializing. The teacher said that the class was intended to be slow and gentle unlike many yoga classes which were competitive, high-energy, and athletic. I had chronic fatigue and no stamina, so slow and gentle was definitely my speed plus this class was spiritual, so she seemed to be the right teacher for me at the time to try to muddle through my chronic illness. But even though she seemed spiritual, I was surprised to see that she was judgmental. On one instance, during her yoga class, I’ll never forget it, she asked us to do a pose which I wasn’t able to do. She asked us to thread our fingers through our toes and I just couldn’t do it. She looked at me, shook her head, and started laughing. It would’ve been different if I was laughing and making fun of myself, but I couldn’t do it. I was frustrated. It was preposterous to me and she just looked at me and laughed.

What Were You Taught To Believe?

They taught me to be afraid of you.

“Stand 6 feet apart.”

They taught me to be afraid of myself.

“Wear a mask. You may be contagious.”

They taught me not to trust the strength of my immune system.

“Only medication and vaccines can remedy this.”

They taught me to stay inside. “Don’t go out, unless it is necessary.”

And they closed our beaches.
When natural vitamin D from the sun boosts the immune system.

They taught me to watch the news constantly: for updates and further information.

When fear weakens the immune system and spreads more fear to others.

They taught me that you cannot overcome chronic illness,

but I overcame mine.

They taught me to spy on my friends and neighbors.

No one needs privacy anymore.

They taught me to report anyone acting out of duty.

They taught us that tracking us is acceptable.

They taught me that is not a time for freedom.

They taught me not to think for myself.

They taught me to bully anyone who disagrees.

They taught me to shame, blame, and criticize anyone who thinks for themselves.

Tough Love Is Killing Empathy

Tough love has really become en vogue in the last few years spawned on by the coaching movement. Tough love is considered love that’s “good for you.” Unfortunately, the popularity of tough love is justifying bullies. Many believe people are playing victims and when they do, they should not show them empathy or love, but call them out on their weakness to toughen them up.

I remember one time in a coaching session my coach said to me, “You are being a victim.”

To which I replied, “I am being authentic. I don’t appreciate you labeling me.”

When we label someone, we pigeon in who they are and don’t see the full person. They just become one word.

Do you identify with being referred to as only one word to describe you? Or are you fuller and more complex than a single word?

My coach then said, “You are being a baby.”

I said, “Do not call me a baby; do not label me. I do not label my clients and I appreciate you to show me the same courtesy.”

“Why?” she asked. “Wouldn’t you want to know?! I would want to know! I would want my coach to tell me if I was being a victim or a baby.”

Advice From My Grandfather

When I was growing up, I loved spending time with my grandfather. In the summer and for holidays, I traveled down to Washington, D.C. to spend time with him. We used to sit on his front porch and chat and people watch. He waved and said hello to every black person who walked by.

I accompanied him to the grocery store and the same thing, any time he passed a black man or woman he nodded, waved, and said hello.

I asked him, “Who was that?”

He replied, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know that person?”

“No,” he replied.

I noticed the pattern; every single time, he saw a black person, he said hello.

So one day, I asked him why he said hello to every black person.

He stopped and looked at me like I had three heads and said, “It’s what you do, Khristee.”

I took that statement to heart.

I grew up in a white community where my family was one of a couple of black families in town at the time. Besides my family, I didn’t come across many African Americans, so when I went to college and was exposed to more blacks, I made a point to say hello to everyone who I saw.

I See You On Facebook. I Know Everything is Good With You.

I see you on Facebook.

I see your smiles.

I see your cute memes.

I see your highs.

I know everything is good with you.

I don’t need to see your diary entries.

I don’t need to know more than a post,

because you post every day.

What else could you have to say?

But that is only a fraction of me.

I am more than you see.

I have fears.

I have tears.

I have parts of me that I don’t want you to see.

I have shadows like you.

I have a past I try to undo.

I don’t have it all figured out.

I yell. I shout.

I have parts I don’t talk about.

Authenticity, Creativity, IdentityKhristee RichJuly 9, 2020poetry, authentic writing, authenticity, poet, Khristee Rich, Facebook, assumptions, shadowComment

People No Longer

People can no longer count their own steps so they have watches to do that for them.

People no longer have the patience to be healed by healers so they purchase their own healing machines.

People can no longer keep track of their objects so they have apps to find their phones.

People can no longer be responsible for their time so their phone tracks their productivity.

People no longer have patience to research when they can ask Siri.

People can no longer be bothered to cook so they microwave the nutrition out of their food.

Or eat food out of cans,

Plastic,

Or cardboard.

No more do people share wisdom, but articles from Google.

No more do people call, but send texts and emojis.

No more do people wake up to birds chirping or a rooster crowing or the sunlight streaming in, but to an alarm sounding.

People use their voices to turn on music instead of their fingers.

People rely on voice commands to guide their way instead of their inner compass or a well illustrated map.

Authenticity, Creativity, MindfulnessKhristee RichJuly 8, 2020creativity, poetry, mindfulnessComment

They’ve Lied To Us

I am feeling mixed feelings today.
We celebrate freedom from the British today because we took freedom away from Native Americans.

Normally, I love the 4th of July.

It symbolizes freedom, fun, time with family and loved ones, good food, but how often do we think about what it really means?

This is the first time I took a moment to let it soak in.
Maybe because I have been doing so much soul searching and I have been looking at all the lies that have been told to us.

Everyone loves a day off. But what does the 4th of July mean?

In the history books, (they gave us in grade school), they say that Christopher Columbus “discovered” America in 1492.

They lied to us.

It was discovered before by Native Americans.
The United States didn’t begin because of a “discovery.”
It began from abuse of power.
Europeans believed in Manifest Destiny.
They believed that the more land they possessed, the more powerful they were.
They didn’t care if other people already lived here.
They wanted it for themselves.
Native Americans were not respected because of their race.
Because they were dark-skinned, spoke a different language, and were not Christian, they were seen as inferior.
Our country was created by abuse of power and racism.

Authenticity, IdentityKhristee RichJuly 4, 2020Native American, Fourth of JulyComment

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