It's A Bigger Issue Than Racism

It’s A Bigger Issue Than Racism - How Do We Heal From This Situation?

Last year one of my clients asked me to teach empathy since he believed that the world needed more empathy. No one ever asked me to teach empathy before so I thought about it for a minute. I have been an empath all of my life, but can empathy be taught? I concluded that it can’t. Compassion can be taught; mindfulness can be taught but empathy cannot be taught, especially as one gets older.

Luckily, I grew up with my father being empathic so I was around empathy growing up. Kids develop most of their personality by the age of 7.

I grew up in a predominantly white environment as one of the few African American families in town. Looking at me, most people don’t expect it, but like other African-Americans, I was exposed to racism. But I was exposed to racism in a different way than most since many people didn’t know if I was white or black.

On the school bus, I remembered one kid saying how much he hated blacks and my neighbor tried to shush him saying, “Be quiet! Khristee’s on the bus!”

To which he replied, “Who cares? She’s not black!”

To which my neighbor replied, “Yes, she is!”

In college, when I did my Junior year abroad in London, I made friends with people who had never been to the U.S. before.

One day one of my new friends said how much he hated blacks. I was shocked.

“How can you say that?” I asked. “I’m black.”

“No, you’re not,” he said.

“Yes, I am,” I said. “My ancestors were slaves.”

“But it can’t be!” he said. “You look white.”

“I am light-skinned,” I said. “African-Americans come in all shades. Why do you hate blacks?”

“Because they are savages! They are violent. They are druggies. They are in gangs. They mug you and have guns.”

“What makes you think that? Why is that your impression of African-Americans? Have you ever been to the U.S.?

“It’s common knowledge. No, I’ve never been to the U.S and I don’t want to go there because it’s dangerous. We don’t have blacks in my country, so everything I learn about blacks is from American movies.”

I was floored.

Many people think what is going on right now in the U.S. has to be with racism and white supremacy, but it goes a lot deeper than. Racists don’t always kill people. The other issues we must confront are abuse of power and corruption.

Slavery in this country has had a huge impact on our country. Our country has not healed from the effects of that. Also it is important to note that anyone who abuses power may have had abuse against them and they are trying to overcompensate when they find themselves in a position of power or they may have grown up witnessing abuse of power and learn that it “acceptable behavior” to treat women or minorities with disrespect. Of course, abuse of power is never okay and it is not justified if you have been abused in the past. We have to address the abuse of power and corruption in the police force as much as the racism.

Police officers should be screened to see if they are emotionally fit for the job, to see if they have any prejudices against anyone: women, gays, people of any races or disabilities. If they do, they should not be allowed to be on the force. Their job is to protect the people (all of the people), to help create a safe world, not to be bullies and enforce rules strictly or to choose what is justice. In this country, we are innocent until proven guilty. It’s not a police officer’s duty to decide if someone needs to pay for what they did, if they need to be punished. If they are convicted, the law will punish them. Police officers should not have biases and they should be taught compassion and mindfulness. All precincts should focus on this. And every police officer should be screened to see if he or she has had trauma or abuse which may impact their ability to carry out their jobs. Also, they should receive support from mental health professionals to help them with the trauma and corruption they experience on the work force.

Trauma that is not healed does not go away. Those who have had trauma against them are more likely to inflict trauma on someone else, to continue the cycle of abuse.

I am not a therapist, but I realize how important emotional support and healing are. Many people are being triggered right now and trauma is being reactivated and wounds are being opened. To help people at this time, I am offering a complimentary virtual group healing to anyone who needs emotional support at this time. If you are depressed, angry, scared, traumatized, confused etc. you are welcome to receive a free healing. It doesn’t matter what race you are, age you are, where in the world you are, I am offering this free distant healing for peace and comfort to the first 40 people who comment on this post or email me. (The healing will probably take place next week.)

The most important thing to remember is that we are all in this together. We can all help by teaching mindfulness and compassion to our children, to our clients, to our co-workers, to our neighbors. We can offer emotional support for those who need it right now. We can be compassionate and mindful as many are struggling in so many different ways.

If you need help, please reach out to me. I am here to support you.

Comment below. Do you think people who have unhealed trauma should be in positions of power? Do you think we should do a better job of screening police officers in the US? Do you think as a society we have a lot of unhealed trauma? Do you believe the whole world would improve if we all taught compassion and mindfulness?