racism in The US — Blog (The Dancing Hummingbird)

My parents have some dear friends. They invited them over for dinner one evening. Somehow the conversation turned to black dogs. At the time, my family had two black Labrador Retrievers. My parents’ friends were arguing that black dogs were more aggressive than lighter color dogs. It was an odd conversation. My family is black and they were white. My family had had many dogs over the years: 2 golden retrievers and three black labs plus my mother had a dog as a child. This couple had had one dog: a poodle. My father who loves a good conversation tried to steer the conversation to breeds saying that certain breeds were more aggressive than others and that it depends on how the dog was treated (if it was abused) but they stood steadfastly, saying that it was the color that determined the temperament. My father point black asked, “Are you saying a yellow lab is always less aggressive than a black lab?”

Authenticity, MindfulnessKhristee RichSeptember 2, 2020racism in America, racism in The US, prejudice, black lives matterComment

Have You Ever Been Told That Your Hair is A Hazard?

I am continuing to share more of my personal stories so that people can understand systemic racism.

When I worked in a psychiatric hospital in New York I had an Afro at the time. It was a very big Afro. One day the HR person asked me to come to her office and she told me that I had to cut my hair. I had never been asked to cut my hair for a job before.

I was perplexed.

“Why do I have to cut my hair?” I asked.

“Because it’s too long,” she said.

“What does the length of my hair have to do with my position?” I asked.

She said, “Because your hair is so long that patients could grab it and it could potentially endanger you. So it is a hazard.”

I declined to cut my hair. I would not cut my hair for my job.

For me, my hair was my identity and I didn’t see anything wrong with having an Afro and working in a psychiatric hospital.

Authenticity, Identity, MindfulnessKhristee RichAugust 31, 2020racism in America, racism in The USComment

It's A Bigger Issue Than Racism

Last year one of my clients asked me to teach empathy since he believed that the world needed more empathy. No one ever asked me to teach empathy before so I thought about it for a minute. I have been an empath all of my life, but can empathy be taught? I concluded that it can’t. Compassion can be taught; mindfulness can be taught but empathy cannot be taught, especially as one gets older.

Luckily I grew up with my father being empathic so I was around empathy growing up. Kids develop most of their personality by the age of 7.

I grew up in a predominantly white environment as one of the few African American families in town. Looking at me, most people don’t expect it, but like other African-Americans, I was exposed to racism. But I was exposed to racism in a different way than most since many people didn’t know if I was white or black.

On the school bus, I remembered one kid saying how much he hated blacks and my neighbor tried to shush him saying, “Be quiet! Khristee’s on the bus!”

To which he replied, “Who cares? She’s not black!”

To which my neighbor replied, “Yes, she is!”

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