Mum's The Word (Writing) — The Dancing Curtain

A Letter From The White House

Last December, I wrote a letter to the President of the United States and I mailed it.

Last week, I received a letter in the mail from President Biden.

My dad was so excited for me.

“You have a letter from the White House!”

It was in a fancy envelope.

I opened it.

Almost a year later from when I mailed it.

What would he say?

I opened up the envelope.

The letter was typed on thick stationary paper.

Not on common computer paper.

On cream paper, not on blanched white.

The letter read “Dear Khristee,”

He spelled my name correctly.

He wrote four paragraphs and signed his name in a black marker.

But it was a form letter.

Do You Know About The Mamaverse?

A couple of months ago, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Tu-Hien Le. She had a regular health and wellness series on Instagram for moms, but recently switched to creating a podcast to reach a wider audience.

Now, she has created The Mamaverse. The Mamaverse is a podcast, vodcast, a blog, and a health and wellness app for moms. The Mamaverse is a community to support moms.

Tu-Hien's mission is to make mamas feel valued and appreciated through a fun online community experience that fosters compassion and collaboration.

I am happy to say that I am a guest on The Mamaverse Podcast. Listen to episode 3 about how to heal chronic health conditions.

Helping Women Without Diagnoses To Get The Help They Need

It’s been about ten years since I overcame my debilitating, chronic illness. My illness was misdiagnosed for fifteen, long years. During the prime of my life, my life stalled. Some of the best doctors in Connecticut and New York City screened me, but only one doctor was able to properly diagnose me. Sadly, this happens more often than people realize.

Before I became sick, I trusted my doctors completely. But to be honest, I rarely got sick in school or college, so doctors only saw me for my annual physical. However, my life completely changed when I chose to do my Junior Year Abroad in London, England and developed a fever, diagnosed as being from the flu, and did not regain my health until fifteen years later.

Empowerment Is Someone Understanding Your Pain

Hi Everyone!

It is the time of female empowerment and yet, there is one topic that divides women, childbirth. The Invisible Divide: Unifying And Empowering Women Around The World Through Childbirth is a book to empower and unify women around the world by giving an understanding of why there is this divide and informing women why it is important to be unified on this topic for women's health and wellness, as well as, the future of their children. Many women are silent on this topic while others are judgmental and shame mothers. It is important for women to speak their truth and share their stories, but it is also important to have empathy, to listen, and to see the full picture, to know the history of childbirth, and how it differs around the world. Also, it is important for more women to have empowered childbirth experiences.

The Grief of Losing A Child

Hi Friends,

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This month brings awareness to those who have lost a child due to stillbirth, miscarriage, SIDS, or any other cause during pregnancy or infancy.

Miscarriage and loss of young child after giving birth or two topics I will be discussing in my two book series on holistic childbirth around the world. Holistic childbirth is the whole journey of childbirth from conception, to pregnancy, to labor, to the postpartum period. It is also how it affects women emotionally and physically.

I will be sharing how miscarriage and the loss of a child after birth affects women emotionally. These situations are very different, but both have devastating effects on women. Grief is a difficult emotion and one that women do not talk about openly. Loss of a child is not an easy topic for anyone to discuss.

Everybody's Asking About My Book

Writing my book about childbirth around the world has been so much fun! But so has being on podcasts! I have been on many podcast interviews the last few months and they have been so eager to hear about my book. So I have decided to start adding some short clips to YouTube! I know that moms are busy, so I just selected excerpts from the shows so that you can learn a little bit about my book.

Listen to these clips. If you enjoy them, listen to the full episodes and make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more updates on my book, the writing process, interviews and more!

What is Cluster Feeding?

For Amberlee, from Australia, breastfeeding came quite naturally. The first time her son was put on her breast he started feeding right away. But she soon discovered that he was a cluster feeder which means that he would feed every 45 minutes. Because of this she was always breastfeeding. Cluster feeding is often a physiological problem with the milk not fully coming in or the woman not being able to produce enough milk or sometimes it indicates a growth spurt for the child. For many women, this is remedied in a few days or a couple of weeks when her milk supplies comes in fully. However, many women experience it longer than a couple of weeks and for some women, it is not only a physiological issue but it is both a physiological and a psychological issue. It took about 6 months for Amberlee to break that cycle and in the process, she learned so much about herself.

She learned that her child was constantly reading her energy and that he was seeking comfort through her breast. Energetically, Amberlee was processing the end of her old life. She didn’t want to surrender her old life. She thought she could still live the life that she wanted, but she couldn’t. It seemed impossible. She struggled internally. Emotionally and physically she felt off.

What Is GBS? How Does It Affect Mothers During Childbirth?

This month is International Group B Strep Awareness Month. Group B Strep is a bacteria that is found naturally in 1 in 4 pregnant women and affects 1 in 2,000 babies in the U.S. It is not that common, but this month is to bring awareness to the general public.

For my book about childbirth around the world I interviewed SheéLee Rock, a childbirth educator and doula, located in Virginia. I asked her about GBS.

KHRISTEE: What is GBS?

SHEÉLEE: GBS stands for Group Beta Strep.

KHRISTEE: How does it affect mothers when they test positive for Group Beta Strep?

SHEÉLEE: GBS is a normal bacteria that lives in the vagina, all the time. It can come and go. It also comes and goes from the intestinal tract. It typically doesn’t cause any symptoms or signs. Moms can have it now, in their pregnancy, during their labor.

The concern is that sometimes moms that have Group Beta Strep in the intestinal tract and in the vagina during labor can possibly pass an infection to the babies and a very small amount of those babies can die. What happens though is that moms are typically tested later in pregnancy for this by a swab that goes into the vagina and then a swab that goes into the rectum and if it comes back positive, they’re not tested again, even though, your GBS can change. You could be positive during your tests around 34-36 weeks and then can be negative during labor. Or you could have a negative test, and then be positive during labor; they don’t care. In the U.S., they test you once and go with those results.

Nesting

Nesting is a phase of pregnancy when mothers have a great urge to prepare for the baby’s arrival, creating a safe, clean home environment for their newborns. Some women start nesting as early as when they are five months pregnant: getting the nursery ready and ordering baby clothes and items to take care of their child. But most women, experience it in the third trimester closer to their due date. However, many women experience it right before labor which could be a sign that labor is approaching soon.

For Dawn, from the U.K., she began preparing her nursery the week before giving birth. She created a full mural on all four walls. She added cartoon drawings such as Tom and Jerry. She painted a night sky with different variations of blues and day-glow stars on the ceiling. She even illustrated a tree in the corner, the tree of knowledge. Yes, that last week Dawn added books, a rocking chair, a changing table, a wooden chest with her son’s name on it and yes, she was the one doing all the painting. She painted an English landscape, a Palestinian landscape, pyramids, Aladdin, ponds, oceans, and lakes; her imagination was on fire with techno music playing in the background to keep her in the zone.

How Will I Know It is Time To Go To The Hospital?

On the day of deliver, Antonio Lévano, a well-regarded OB/GYN in Peru is in contact with his patients.

Many women ask him, “Antonio, how will I know when it is time to go to the hospital?”

He encourages them to spend as much time at home as possible. At home they are comfortable. They can eat, move, take a shower, etc.

“How do I know I am having contractions?” they ask.

He says, “You will know the difference. It will feel different than how you normally feel.”

He asks his patients to make a note of the time, every time they feel a contraction. When it is ten minutes in between the start and stop of contractions, they send him a message. He has an app for them to send all of the contractions and times, so that he can see the progression.

He prefers that they are at home until contractions are every 3 to 4 minutes and they feel a lot of pressure or pain in the pelvis. He emphasizes that it is not just the amount of time that is the indicator for him, if they are ready to go to the hospital to deliver. He wants to hear their voice to hear if they are out of breath or unable to talk as usual; this is a sign that it is time to go. If they can talk normally, it is not time yet.

Fears About Childbirth And What To Do

First time moms tend to have a lot of fear about childbirth, as it is, and sometimes, doctors have advice for mothers that doesn’t feel right intuitively.

During my interviews for my book about holistic childbirth around the world, I asked Dawn Bates from the U.K. if she had any advice for first time mothers.

Advice from Dawn:

“If you have any fears, journal it out. Anything that a doctor tells you, look at what is the medical argument for this and then look at medical arguments from different countries. If your doctor in the U.S. is saying this is what needs to happen, make a phone call to a doctor in a different country. There are lots of free help lines. Phone someone in the U.K. Find someone in Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Germany. Find out what doctors in other countries are saying. And then go back to your doctor and say, what you are saying is not necessarily true… If others are pressuring you, go on a long holiday. Focus on you and what is important to you.

Easy Ways for Moms To Beat Overwhelm

Hi Ladies!

It seems that everyone who I have been connecting with lately is feeling overwhelm and it seems that moms who are about to give birth even if it’s not their first birth are experiencing a new kind of overwhelm. Many places in the world are still not allowing husbands into the delivery room due to the Coronavirus, many are afraid of contracting the Coronavirus at the hospital, and one woman I know is overwhelmed because she is not allowed off the military base and she doesn’t want to give birth in a military hospital again.

What do we do to release this overwhelm that we are feeling?

Yesterday, in my private Facebook Group, Empowered Joyful Empaths, I discussed this topic and let everyone know that they are not alone if they are feeling overwhelm. I also provided some coping skills to help at this time. You can watch the video in the group or read some of my suggestions here.

Try these coping skills. Pick the ones that are best for you. You do not need to practice all of them.

Meditate. (This can be listening to music, breathing deeply or following a recorded creative visualization.)
Spend time in nature. (Soak up the sun. Be surrounded by green and peace. Let nature support you.)

Obstetric Violence. Are You Aware It is Happening Globally?

Obstetric violence was not a term that I was familiar with until I started doing research on my book about holistic childbirth around the world.

The first person who mentioned the term to me was actually an OBGYN in Peru, Antonio Lévano, who admitted that obstretric violence was prevalent in Peru. After my interview with Dr. Lévano, a doula in Peru, Ariela Waltzer also brought up this topic without coaxing, which made me realize this was not a term that they invented, but a widespread issue in Peru and many other countries around the globe.

“What is obstetric violence?” I asked.

“Obstretric violence means they do not see your needs. They see their needs. They are not listening to you. They are listening to their book and the charts and numbers and what needs to be signed…. Obstetric violence is very big in Peru especially in private clinics.”

She admitted that obstetric violence is common in Peru and that people have been talking about it for the last fifteen years.

I was shocked.

I asked her if she could share specific examples. She described how the large percentage of c-sections in Lima, Peru is the biggest example. In Lima, the capital, 90% of births at clinics are c-sections. She mentioned that it wasn’t just taking away a woman’s choice about how she would give birth, but that it happens every step along labor

Every Woman Should Know These Birth Strategies

Hi Ladies!

Are you about to have your first child? There are so many great books out there on childbirth, but here are some quick strategies recommended from WHO (World Health Organization) and Lamaze for having a safe and healthy birth.

Six simple strategies:

Let labor begin on its own.
Walk, move around, and change positions throughout labor.
Bring a loved one, friend, or doula you love for continuous support.
Avoid interventions that aren’t medically necessary.
Avoid giving birth on your back and follow your bodies urges to push.
Keep mother and baby together-it’s best for baby, mother, and breastfeeding.[1]

Are you a mother? What other strategies would you suggest?

My First Australian Podcast!

I was interviewed on Amberlee Jayde’s fabulous Australian podcast, Digital Village. We had great chat! Amberlee interviewed for my book about holistic childbirth around the world. Her transformation is amazing! I look forward to sharing her childbirth stories in my new book series, but until then, listen to our interview.

In this episode, you will learn:

· About my new book that will transform how you see and experience childbirth,

· My mission is to empower every woman around the world in regards to their health and wellness,

· My personal health journey overcoming my debilitating chronic illness,

· How & why I became a holistic healer,

· Universal health issues,

· The importance of healing and how every woman who heals herself, heals all the women who came

before her and heals all the women who came after her,

· We rise as women by uplifting one another,

· The definition of an empath and what one can do to protect oneself from taking on others energy,

· How law of attraction attracts circumstances/ events that surpass our expectations,

· And the importance of a healthy and functioning liver.

PTSD is Affecting More Mothers Than You Realize

It is PTSD Awareness Month. Did you know that PTSD can happen in childbirth? Did you know that it can happen during pregnancy? Did you know that it can be caused by a traumatic childbirth? Many people assume that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) only happens in war or from abuse or a terrible, violent accident, but post-traumatic stress disorder can occur whenever there is a traumatic situation that has not been resolved such as a traumatic childbirth. Yes, that’s correct; many women, nowadays, are having traumatic birth experiences which are resulting in post-traumatic stress disorder or are triggering previous trauma they already had. This is a topic that is not discussed very often. Most people assume that childbirth is a happy memory and therefore, women with traumatic birth experiences are often keeping their experiences silent. But even if they are not consulting with a therapist, these memories are still stored in the body and can affect their lives and future birth experiences, as well as, their relationship with their child.

Trauma is an experience that most people do not understand. Many people think they can simply think themselves into a happier state. Mind over matter. They believe they can avoid thinking of unpleasant experiences and then the experiences will not live in their minds. But trauma is deeper than this. One cannot think oneself out of trauma by being more positive. One cannot heal trauma by avoiding it and suppressing emotions. Trauma must be healed; otherwise, it will continue to bleed into other areas of our lives.

Reoccurring negative patterns/cycles may surface and even chronic illness can develop, showing clearly, that the body has not healed from the ordeal. People may experience triggers. Memories may return causing visceral reactions: they may have intense emotions or physical sensations. People may have nightmares or try to avoid certain places or locations such as where the trauma happened or any place that reminds them of the location where it happened. For instance, if a woman had a traumatic birth experience, she may never wish to return to the same hospital again. Even if she needed emergency care for something not related to childbirth, she may request to go to another hospital. She may break out in a sweat, hives, become agitated, and feel nauseous thinking about going back to the same hospital.

It's Time For Compassion and Female Empowerment!

Home births are illegal in Peru. With the pandemic many mothers in Cusco, Peru are electing to have home births over hospital births. Health officials in Cusco are aware of this new trend and that many are offering to assist women with home births at this time. No arrests have been made yet, but health authorities are greatly discouraging women from giving birth at home saying that it is not safe. They are trying to ensure that every protocol has been made to ensure their safety at this time with the virus and that they should refuse help at home and have their births in hospitals.

This is so sad! Home births should not be illegal. Home births are not more dangerous than hospital births. Women should have the choice where they want to deliver their babies. If they feel safer at home, they should be allowed to give birth with assistance in the comfort of their homes. In Peru people are still in lockdown. They are not allowed to go out unless it is necessary. Requiring pregnant women to leave their homes when they don’t feel safe is not right. This causes unnecessary stress and potential trauma to mothers and their babies. They are scared for their health and their babies health during this pandemic. Why would they want to go to a place where there are people sick with the virus? Women should have the choice. Women should not fear being arrested nor should the people who are assisting them to have a healthy birth.

Advice from Mothers About Postpartum Illnesses

HI Everyone! It is the end of National Maternal Depression Awareness Month. On a previous blog, I shared a little of Carey’s story with her struggles with postpartum psychosis. Today I would like to continue the discussion of maternal depression awareness.

One recent study found that 1 in 5 women may suffer from maternal mental health disorders and 1 in 7 women may experience Postpartum Depression (PPD) in the year after giving birth. With approximately 4 million live births occurring each year in the United States, this equates to almost 600,000 postpartum depression diagnoses. Sadly, it is believed that postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety are much more common than these statistics reveal. Some medical experts believe that the rate of postpartum depression could be at least twice as much than what is actually reported and diagnosed. It is believed that while there are many diagnosed cases of postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, only a limited number of women actually receive treatment, often because many women do not know they have postpartum depression/anxiety since they are simply adjusting to being a new mom.

Pioneer Women in Childbirth

Maria De Los Ángeles Chero and Ariela Waltzer pictured above are the first doulas of Peru. Dr. Angela Brocker is a doctor and a midwife in Peru who learned about doulas from living in Germany (where she is from originally) and decided to bring this tradition to Peru. In Lima, Peru, of all births in the private sector, the c-section rate is 85-90%, which is much higher than the national average of 35 to 40%. As a doctor in Peru, Dr. Angela Brocker witnessed a lot of obstetric violence and was even encouraged during her training to do practices against women that she did not agree with. In 2005, Dr. Brocker created a doula training program in Lima; Maria and Ariela were some of the first ladies to learn this tradition from Dr. Brocker at her birthing center, Pakarii. Both ladies continue to be doulas today and love it.

Ariela admits that in Peru doulas are not popular (compared to other countries) and that many women still do not know what a doula is, however, over the past fifteen years, more and more women are becoming aware of obstetric violence. She is happy to be one of the pioneers to support women.

How To Be Supported During Childbirth

Are you a new mother? Are you familiar with all the birth professionals who assist mothers during labor? If you are planning to give birth it is very important that you are aware of your options so that you can pick what is best for you. Keep in mind, every country does not have the same options. There are birth attendants, doulas, midwives, and OBGYNS. In some countries, midwives deliver most of the babies (such as in Europe, Australia, and African countries) and OBGYNS only deliver babies if there is an emergency which requires surgery. In other countries, (such as the U.S.) OBGYNs are considered more prestigious than midwives. But in truth, OBGYNs are not more prestigious, but are more common in the United States. While in other countries (such as Kazakhstan) women are still not allowed to have their husbands or birth attendants present during the birth of their child or doulas present (such as in public hospitals in Peru) .