Posts tagged bullies
Tough Love Is Killing Empathy
Tough Love Is Killing Empathy

Tough love has really become en vogue in the last few years spawned on by the coaching movement. Tough love is considered love that’s “good for you.” Unfortunately, the popularity of tough love is justifying bullies. Many believe people are playing victims and when they do, they should not show them empathy or love, but call them out on their weakness to toughen them up.

I remember one time in a coaching session my coach said to me, “You are being a victim.”

To which I replied, “I am being authentic. I don’t appreciate you labeling me.”

When we label someone, we pigeon in who they are and don’t see the full person. They just become one word.

Do you identify with being referred to as only one word to describe you? Or are you fuller and more complex than a single word?

My coach then said, “You are being a baby.”

I said, “Do not call me a baby; do not label me. I do not label my clients and I appreciate you to show me the same courtesy.”

“Why?” she asked. “Wouldn’t you want to know?! I would want to know! I would want my coach to tell me if I was being a victim or a baby.”

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Authenticity, Health and Wellness, EmpowermentKhristee Richnarcissism in the thought leadership world, narcissism in the coaching world, narcissism, bullies, bullies in the coaching world, empathy, tough love, is tough love healthy?, Is tough love helpful?, abuse of power, abuse of power in the coaching world, emotional abuse, Me Too Movement, female empowermentComment
The New Know-It-All Bullies
The New Know-It-All Bullies

I am fortunate to say that I was not bullied growing up, but sadly, I see that bullying and more specifically, cyberbullying is on the rise.

I do not believe in public humiliation, so I won’t use her name, but there is a very famous business coach, a millionaire, who uses bullying tactics to get her new clients and to control the clients she has. she was the first to say, “Make your mess your message“, “ It’s either a Hell yes or a no”, and “How you do anything is how you do everything.“

Yes, she’s got some catchy sayings and some great messages.

But it is never okay to bully. (Shame, judge, criticize) someone publicly. This is a manipulation tactic to control another person, to silence them, and embarrass them into submission. Unfortunately, it is used a lot in the coaching world and it puts a coach in a position of power/authority.

No longer are bullies on the playground, but they are adults with deep wounds that others are hiring. I followed this coach for some time before I realized that she was a bully. I was so impressed by her ability to go from a secretary to a millionaire and to have a thriving business with a huge staff and a huge following. I wanted to be a successful entrepreneur like her. I wanted to learn how she did it.

It wasn’t until I hopped on a free group coaching call that I clearly saw her scare tactics in motion. She coached us one-by-one on our specific problems and then at the end, she invited us to her live in-person event in Vegas on specific dates. I remember the first woman she coached. She said, “Thank you. Unfortunately, I can’t attend because my daughter is having her first baby and of course, I don’t know the exact date it will happen, but she is due around the same time as your event and I plan to be there two weeks to help out, so I’m sorry, I won’t be able to make it this year, but would love to attend next year.“

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Health and Wellness, Holistic HealthKhristee Richabuse of power, bullies, cyberbulling, emotional abuse, be discerning, be careful who you hire to be your coachComment