Blog (The Dancing Hummingbird) — The Dancing Curtain

A Glimpse Into My Past

Many people love to look at old pictures when they were younger,

“The good old days…”

But I don’t like to look at pictures of myself when I was sick with my 15-year illness.

At the time, I may have been able to hide that I was sick from others who didn’t know me.

I had a lot of shame for being sick for so long.

Some of my friends on social media may never have known me when I was sick.

They may have never seen me sick.

They may think that I have always been so happy, healthy, and vibrant.

I look at this picture and I don’t recognize myself.

What’s On The Other Side Of Illness?

In 2010, I overcame my 15 year chronic illness. The next year, I moved to San Francisco and lived in California for 5 years.

This pic was of me on New Year’s, less than 5 years after overcoming my chronic illness. This was me celebrating in Hollywood. I had moved to Hollywood three months earlier when this pic was taken. I was so happy to be well and to be living my dreams.

The old me would never have imagined moving across country. Or being so healthy or so joyful.

After I overcame my illness, I focused on doing everything that brought me joy. For so long my days were focused on survival, getting through the day, trying to be well.

Healers Are Not Scary

Recently, I had a discovery call with a woman. She had found me from Googling. She was looking for someone to help her with trauma and she wanted to work with someone in Connecticut because she was moving to Connecticut.

But somehow, even though, she had found me from a search she didn’t know I was a healer and a medium.

Once I told her that I was a healer and a medium and described the work that I did she became so fearful.

I am an empath so I could feel her fear towards me. It was the oddest feeling. I am the type of person people tell me everything, the type of person strangers open up to upon meeting, the type of person people say they feel joyful just to be around. And yet, a woman who needed my help was fearful of my titles. We had a nice rapport but once I said I was not a coach but a healer, she froze. In a timid voice, she asked how I became a medium.

“I thought you were a coach,” she said.

“I do offer recommended action steps like a coach,” I said, “but I do much more. I wear many hats. My sessions are deep.”

Why Do We Put Busyness On A Pedestal?

Many times when someone asks how someone else is doing, the other person may respond, “I am so busy.”

I always find the response “That’s good” to be odd.

Why are they glad the other person is busy instead of well or happy?

And some people even say, “Well, at least it’s better than the alternative.“

Better than being relaxed and at peace? Better than someone feeling they are enough and that they don’t have to hustle to fit in? Better than feeling balanced and healthy?

I think it’s so important for us to practice mindfulness.

Clearing Confusion On The CBD Trend

There are so many natural ways to remedy pain and anxiety. I have found that one of the most misunderstood ways is by using CBD. I have recommended so many natural remedies over the years to my clients and loved ones, but was curious to learn more about CBD, so I was so happy to be asked by Ridgefield and Wilton Magazine to write an article on CBD so that I could do more research on this topic.

Now that I have done so much research and gave CBD to my grandmother when she was ill, I wish my grandmother's hospice nurses had recommended CBD instead of immediately giving morphine and Haloperidol for physical and emotional pain.

I gave my grandmother CBD and she did very well with it, much better than with the medications. I was so happy that CBD gave her relief.

Set Your Intentions Now For A Great Season

Happy Summer! Sunday was the official beginning of summer in the northern hemisphere and the beginning of winter in the southern hemisphere. Did you set your intention?

With the change of seasons, it is important to take a pause and think about what you want to create this new season. It's not just on New Year's Day that we should set a new intention, but it's always important to reflect, re-prioritize, and set new goals. Some entrepreneurs and small businesses set quarterly goals and then after each quarter reassess and then create new ones. But you don't have to be an entrepreneur to set a goal for the summer.

What do you desire?

More fun?

More confidence?

More time for creativity?

More time for healing?

More time for self-care?

From Humble Beginnings To A Confident Healer

When I first started doing healing sessions, I offered sessions in a small herb store in Ridgefield, CT which had an empty back room. I put an ad in the local paper with a coupon for first time clients and I received a call from a woman interested in my services. She had thyroid cancer and had recently lost her husband. She was grieving her husband’s passing and dealing with her cancer diagnosis and feeling very alone and depressed. She wanted help healing her cancer. She had heard about Reiki and how it benefited cancer patients and she was open to trying it. She was my very first client and I was nervous. I had my certification in Reiki and I had been studying shamanism for months or maybe it was a year, but this was my first paying customer. Did I have the ability to heal? I wondered. Could I help this woman? What if I couldn’t help this woman?

Thoughts swirled in my head of lack of confidence, but then I remembered what my Reiki Master who taught me said. She said, “You will never be given more than you can handle, especially with your first client. It is law. You will be given someone who you can help to show you, you have what it takes as a healer.”

I took her words to heart and met with this petite woman at the store.

My Grandmother Celebrated Her Centennial Birthday

This weekend my family celebrated my grandmother’s 100th birthday. We celebrated all weekend. We had so much fun. Relatives drove up from the south. We spent hours opening up cards. She received presents, flowers, phone calls and ate so much delicious cake and good food.

My dad wrote a press release for my grandmother and submitted it our local paper, but even though, my dad submitted it a month ago and followed up with emails and calls and I reached out to the paper too, they didn’t respond back to either of us and didn’t include it in the paper this past week so I thought I would share it with you all here.

Alice Arrington, a resident of Ridgefield, CT for the past 10 years, celebrated her 100th birthday on Friday, May 7.

Honoring My Friend Who Was Taken Away Too Soon

Every May 1, I always think of my college friend, Sunil Rajan, who died on his birthday May 1, several years ago.

In college, I had a really bad seizure. I had a history of seizures since I was 13 years old. It was so scary. Because I had a really bad seizure in college, I had to stay up all night and then go to the hospital to see if they could stimulate it with strobe lights to see if I had epilepsy. Sunil was one of a few friends who came to my apartment and stayed up all night with me and because I wasn’t allowed to sleep a wink, he didn’t sleep a wink either.

He was a good friend. He had compassion for me.

Later after college, by chance we met again and continued our friendship. Shortly after that, he fell from a ladder while at work and had a grand mal seizure and had to be rushed to the hospital. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Are We Truly Giving Informed Consent and Informed Refusal Around The World?

Happy World Health Day. This year’s theme is building a fairer, healthier world for everyone and so I want to share the story of my grandmother.

My grandmother had an adverse reaction to the Covid-19 vaccine. She had a very strong reaction. I reported it to VAERS, The Vaccine Adverse Event System, a national early warning system to detect possible safety issues with vaccines in the U.S. It is managed by the CDC and the FDA. My parents were happy that I reported it. They were very worried. None of us had ever seen her in such a condition. Luckily, with my expertise for holistic health and wellness and being a medium, I was able to give her a natural remedy that relieved the symptoms and she is okay again. But my parents were not sure if she would ever be okay again.

My grandmother is 99 years and so with the virus we have been keeping her home. It’s difficult for her to walk so my parents called for a visiting nurse to give her the shot at home. The nurse asked her if she had any severe allergies and if she used an epi-pen (which she does not), but did not mention any of the side effects that my grandmother developed later as being a possible adverse reaction. The nurse stayed with her for 15 minutes but it was several hours before the adverse effects kicked in. When they kicked in, they kicked in forcefully and she was inconsolable.

My Big Purpose: Why I've Been A Healer

I love being a healer. I have been a healer for about 17 years. It was never something I intended to do, but I had a calling and over the years the calling continues.

Why?

Because I was sick with a debilitating illness for 15 years. I was misdiagnosed for 15 years. I felt doctors didn’t respect me and take me and my symptoms seriously. I felt that I lost 15 years of my life which could have been avoided and I don’t want the same to happen to anyone else. Life is supposed to be joyful, but you can’t be joyful when your needs are not met physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Because of what I experienced, I have great empathy for those who have chronic illnesses and chronic conditions who are being told there is no cure and they have to accept their illnesses.

I Know It Hurts. I Know You’re Angry. Break The Cycle of Being in A Toxic Romantic Relationship (Once And For All)

You’re not doomed to continue the cycle of attracting narcissists or toxic relationships.

The myths circulating about narcissists are preventing you from breaking the cycle.

If you have been in a toxic, abusive relationship, look at your past and the areas of your life to see where you need healing. It is a fallacy that empaths always attract narcissists. Wounded empaths attract narcissists, but not all empaths are wounded. Some are empowered. Wounded people attract wounded people. Narcissists are wounded. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you will never be able to change them, but you can heal yourself and set healthy boundaries and learn the signs so that you do not welcome another narcissist into your life.

The Best Gifts Of All Are The Ones That Make You Feel Good

When I was sick with my chronic illness, I didn't have the knowledge I have today. It was through trial and error that I learned the importance of not only choosing the right supplements, but high quality supplements. It was through time and research that I Iearned that what we put on our bodies is as important as what we put in our bodies. Our body is the largest organ we have and it absorbs everything we put on our skin. Everything we put on our bodies and in our bodies and around our bodies contributes to either good health or poor health.

I have so much empathy for those who are struggling with a chronic illness. I know that they often don't have the energy to research and understand what is best for them.

But I do know that if you purchase gifts for your loved ones that help them to feel good, they will treasure those gifts for a long time and appreciate you.

Here are some of my favorites:

Everyone Wants Quick Answers

Years ago, I met a woman in Connecticut while networking. In my circle at the time, it was common for people to do trades, but my experience from the past was all trades were not always equal. Not all services were equal. Some were more expensive than others. Some required more time than others. And some practitioners were more talented and experienced than others. It would be one thing for a massage therapist to get a massage from another massage therapist, but people often traded in different industries. I had been disappointed by trades before and I decided to stop. If someone was interested in my services, they would need to pay me and if I was interested in theirs I would pay them. After all, I did need to pay my bills and I was very good at what I did.

This woman was sick and wanted to do a trade. She had heard about my work and how talented I was as a healer and intuitive and she needed help. She tried everything with doctors and she needed some answers. I told her that I didn’t do trades anymore. I was clear. I was clear with myself and I was clear with her. But even though she was very sick, it was immediately clear that she wasn’t willing to invest in my services. If I wasn’t going to trade with her, she wasn’t willing to pay.

How Much Do You Know About Vanilla?

I watched Sunday Morning this past weekend and learned about vanilla. With lockdown, more people are baking. Vanilla sales have gone up 500%.

The island of Madagascar is the largest producer of vanilla, producing 80% of the world’s vanilla crop. But vanilla is not native to Madagascar; it is native to Mexico. Vanilla is one of the most labor intensive crops in the world. Only in Mexico where the crop is native is there a bee that pollinates the crop. In Madagascar, every vanilla most be pollinated by hand. It is a very lengthy process to produce vanilla and because of that, it is worth more by weight than gold. Madagascar is one of the poorest countries in the world, so they can find people willing to do this laborous work. On average people in Madagascar are paid $50/month, but those who work on vanilla fields make $100/month.

Still with vanilla being so valuable there is a lot of theft and farmers must stay awake all night, so that their crop is not stolen. Still much of their crop is stolen and is sold on the black market for well over the selling price and many people, mostly children, are in prison for stealing vanilla.

That is why vanilla is so expensive, if you purchase pure vanilla.

Health and Wellness, MindfulnessKhristee RichAugust 4, 2020vanilla, Madagascar, artificial vanilla, artificial flavorsComment

What Were You Taught To Believe?

They taught me to be afraid of you.

“Stand 6 feet apart.”

They taught me to be afraid of myself.

“Wear a mask. You may be contagious.”

They taught me not to trust the strength of my immune system.

“Only medication and vaccines can remedy this.”

They taught me to stay inside. “Don’t go out, unless it is necessary.”

And they closed our beaches.
When natural vitamin D from the sun boosts the immune system.

They taught me to watch the news constantly: for updates and further information.

When fear weakens the immune system and spreads more fear to others.

They taught me that you cannot overcome chronic illness,

but I overcame mine.

They taught me to spy on my friends and neighbors.

No one needs privacy anymore.

They taught me to report anyone acting out of duty.

They taught us that tracking us is acceptable.

They taught me that is not a time for freedom.

They taught me not to think for myself.

They taught me to bully anyone who disagrees.

They taught me to shame, blame, and criticize anyone who thinks for themselves.

Tough Love Is Killing Empathy

Tough love has really become en vogue in the last few years spawned on by the coaching movement. Tough love is considered love that’s “good for you.” Unfortunately, the popularity of tough love is justifying bullies. Many believe people are playing victims and when they do, they should not show them empathy or love, but call them out on their weakness to toughen them up.

I remember one time in a coaching session my coach said to me, “You are being a victim.”

To which I replied, “I am being authentic. I don’t appreciate you labeling me.”

When we label someone, we pigeon in who they are and don’t see the full person. They just become one word.

Do you identify with being referred to as only one word to describe you? Or are you fuller and more complex than a single word?

My coach then said, “You are being a baby.”

I said, “Do not call me a baby; do not label me. I do not label my clients and I appreciate you to show me the same courtesy.”

“Why?” she asked. “Wouldn’t you want to know?! I would want to know! I would want my coach to tell me if I was being a victim or a baby.”

Overwhelm. What To Do?

It seems that everyone who I have been connecting with lately is feeling overwhelm. Are you feeling overwhelm? It seems to be something we are not experiencing individually, but collectively right now. It’s no surprise with everything that has been going on the last few months: the Coranavirus pandemic (the fear of becoming sick, the fear of our loved ones becoming sick, the isolation and not having the help systems we have relied on, job loss/financial loss, losing loved ones to the virus), all of the corruption and racism that has been appearing in the news, all of the scandals etc. What can we do to feel better and release this overwhelm?

Yesterday, in my private Facebook Group, Empowered Joyful Empaths, I discussed this topic and let everyone know that they are not alone if they are feeling overwhelm. I also provided some coping skills to help at this time.

Try these coping skills. Pick the ones that are best for you. You do not need to practice all of them.

Meditate
Spend time alone in nature
Consciously slow down
Take something off your to do list
De-clutter
Breathe deeply
Delegate
Prioritize. Does everything need to be done today?
Rest/Nap
Have fun

Narcissists in The Business Coaching and Thought Leadership World

There is a very famous business coach/thought leader/motivational speaker; you may know him. He teaches people mind-over-matter by encouraging them to walk on hot coals; he hosts live events with thousands of attendees (which sell out fast for big bucks), and many women have accused him of making inappropriate sexual advances and sexually harassing them. (This is fans and staff. ) Some have even said, that he berated abuse victims. Yes, he is incredibly successful in his career, has a huge following, but he is a narcissist.

Narcissists are often successful in business because they are ruthless; they don’t care about anyone else but themselves. If you boost their ego, they will love you, but if you show that you are vulnerable and didn’t feel emotional supported or seen by them or that they didn’t help you, that’s when they get mean and ugly. Narcissists are incredibly vain; they are always focused on themselves, even if they don’t like themselves. They often did not feel emotionally supported as children, so they have no problems giving you tough love.

There are many coaches/thoughts leaders today who are narcissists and yet their businesses are booming.

Why?

Because they are successful in business and people want to learn from those who are uber successful.

The New Know-It-All Bullies

I am fortunate to say that I was not bullied growing up, but sadly, I see that bullying and more specifically, cyberbullying is on the rise.

I do not believe in public humiliation, so I won’t use her name, but there is a very famous business coach, a millionaire, who uses bullying tactics to get her new clients and to control the clients she has. she was the first to say, “Make your mess your message“, “ It’s either a Hell yes or a no”, and “How you do anything is how you do everything.“

Yes, she’s got some catchy sayings and some great messages.

But it is never okay to bully. (Shame, judge, criticize) someone publicly. This is a manipulation tactic to control another person, to silence them, and embarrass them into submission. Unfortunately, it is used a lot in the coaching world and it puts a coach in a position of power/authority.

No longer are bullies on the playground, but they are adults with deep wounds that others are hiring. I followed this coach for some time before I realized that she was a bully. I was so impressed by her ability to go from a secretary to a millionaire and to have a thriving business with a huge staff and a huge following. I wanted to be a successful entrepreneur like her. I wanted to learn how she did it.

It wasn’t until I hopped on a free group coaching call that I clearly saw her scare tactics in motion. She coached us one-by-one on our specific problems and then at the end, she invited us to her live in-person event in Vegas on specific dates. I remember the first woman she coached. She said, “Thank you. Unfortunately, I can’t attend because my daughter is having her first baby and of course, I don’t know the exact date it will happen, but she is due around the same time as your event and I plan to be there two weeks to help out, so I’m sorry, I won’t be able to make it this year, but would love to attend next year.“

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